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[hareass]

Re: Video Games on Away Ship

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sent at 8:28 PM (two minutes ago)
FROM	Kikuchihara Shirou <yournameistoolong@borderintranet.com>;
TO	Tachikawa Kei <tachikawa.kei@borderintranet.com>;
CC	Kohei Izumi <kohei.izumi@borderintranet.com>; Inukai Sumiharu <inukai.sumiharu@borderintranet.com>;
filetype.docx   filetype.mkv        If you idiots play video games on the away ship again, you'd better watch your stupid snack stash. All of it.
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[manchildren]

What floor. There's no floor here.

[plesiosauria]

The floor under the couch hasn't been cleaned.

[manchildren]

There is no floor under this couch, Tsuji. Take my word for it. I live here.

[plesiosauria]

[ . . . ]

You don't have to leave the couch, but we'll need to move you with it. It's important that we're thorough.

[manchildren]

You can't do that!

[plesiosauria]

I can.

Ninomiya-san, please help me move the couch.

[masaltaka]

[ he's here because the dinosaur called. he's staying because TACHIKAWA.

he pulls down his mask for the sole purpose of giving him a disgusted look. ]

Get off the couch, Tachikawa.

[manchildren]

[ oh god not nino-san ]

Look, there's no need to clean under it! I-I'll do it myself later, so...!

[plesiosauria]

[ kyaa, nino-san. ]

There's no need. We're here to do it for you.

[manchildren]

I don't want you to do it for me!!

[masaltaka]

Too late. [ masataka snaps on his gloves, and motions with his head towards tsuji. ] Get the other side.

[plesiosauria]

[ nodding, tsuji sets the vacuum cleaner down and grabs the other end of the couch. brace yourself, tachikawa. ]

[manchildren]

[ oh my god. this twenty-year-old man is going to brace on for dear life and wail-- ]

[masaltaka]

[ .....

.........

................... ]

Inukai. [ he'll motion for his other squad member with a jerk of his head, impatient. ] Confiscate those.

[ get those offensive crates OUT OF HIS SIGHT-- ]

[dogethis]

[ nearby, inukai looks over his shoulder and grins. he drops everything he's doing and grabs a hold of the first crate. ]

You found the crates? As expected of Ninomiya-san and Tsuji-chan! I'll be taking these. The hallway should be fine, right?

[masaltaka]

Fine. [ he says this in a tone of voice that implies he'd like them burnt. ] Tsuji, finish up here.

[manchildren]

I think my heart's already finished.

[plesiosauria]

[ as inukai lugs the precious carts away, tsuji nods to ninomiya and retrieves the vacuum cleaner. before he turns the power on, he looks at tachikawa; it would be rude to ignore him. ]

What was in those crates? The door man thought they were suspicious.

[manchildren]

[ he is a puddle of sorrow on this couch. kei's soul has departed. leave him be. ]

Croquettes... [ a wail. ]

[plesiosauria]

[ croquettes . . .

tsuji digs into his pocket and procures his phone. he sends inukai a message.

Please post a notice on the crates. Tachikawa-san tells me croquettes are inside. Contrary to what the doorman thought, the crates are harmless. Just in case, verify the claim first.

the response is immediate: they were snacks after all, huh? okay. i checked. tachikawa-san was right.

he puts the phone away. ]

Once the room is cleared, there should be ample room to store the croquettes. Inukai-senpai is ensuring that no one throws them away.

[ it's so easy. why was this being made such a big deal . . . ]

[ 1/3 ]

[manchildren]

[ wait ]

[ 2/3 ]

[manchildren]

[ ..........!! ]

[ 3/3 ]

[manchildren]

[ this is a twenty-year-old man leaping to his feet with the sort of excitement found only in children on a sugar-rush and small dogs. the expression on kei's face suggests that he's just heard a chorus of angels. there may even be a sparkle of an unshed tear in his right eye. ]

Tsuji, you're not so bad after all! [ there, have a hearty clap to your back, twig. followed by intensely enthusiastic shoulder-patting!! ] Say, why don't you quit Ninomiya squad and join mine? I'll let you be the second sword, how's that?

[plesiosauria]

[ this is incredibly uncomfortable – not genuinely, but in the most awkward way, especially with ninomiya several meters away. what's "second sword" even about? is that how tachikawa squad refers to attackers? ]

With all due respect, Tachikawa-san, I can't accept that offer. Now if you'll excuse me, the floor . . .

[ once the shoulder-patting stops, tsuji reaches for the vacuum. if the floor is filthy, the room won't look clean no matter how much they tidy up the furniture. ]

[manchildren]

[ guess who completely doesn't feel the discomfort? this guy right here. a whine as he makes to follow tsuji, who he's deemed as his new best friend, ]

Come on, you don't mean that--