nexuses | can't a man have some coffee in peace

[The thread that connects him to the supreme primarch's power has unraveled, taking with it his wings. Rent of what makes him an archangel, he's no better than a human with a purpose thrust unto him by a weakened witch. All in all, the whole situation reeks of nonsense.

Indolence won't help his brooding any. Sandalphon tours the city instead, pointedly taking the less populated path. Even then, too many people approach him with their wares and saccharine smiles, and he rebuffs each one with a single-word response. It's not soon enough when he slips into a shop that smells faintly of coffee, hoping for some peace and quiet.

But even here, the employees jump at every person to come around. Sandalphon grits his teeth in reflex annoyance when a rehearsed greeting and a request for an order is thrown his way. He hadn't intended to buy anything. Still, he can't just turn around and leave.]

Fine. Give me coffee.

[That unleashes a whole new can of beans. Regular or decaf? Perhaps a mocha, a latte, or a cappucino? And what about ice?

Does any of this matter? No one makes coffee like Lucifer. It hasn't been more than two hours, and Sandalphon wants to quit Shehui.]

That doesn't matter to me. Make what you want.

[At the very least, the service is quick—too quick. Sandalphon eyes the cup in his grasp with mild suspicion. What's with the lid?]

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[Oh... Even from here, it's apparent that Sandalphon is... probably crying. But Lucifer's at even more of a loss now than he was before. His only "experience" with emotions like this was what he'd observed from watching others—he could not think of a time when he'd been directly confronted by a crying person, Sandalphon or otherwise. Not to mention that, again, Sandalphon's feelings are still a bit of a mystery to him. Is he sad or frustrated? Is this what he wanted, or is he upset that this is what he got? He did think that he wanted to be forgiven, but— maybe he'd read the situation all wrong. That definitely wasn't impossible.

He hesitates, unsure if anything he's saying is going to be the right thing anymore, but he has to ask, because he wants to do what he can for him, and if he doesn't, then all of this... might've been for nothing.]

What's wrong?

[It sounds ignorant and he knows it, but, well, his difficulties with things like this are news to no one.]

[He sucks in an abrupt breath; so that he can take another, longer one.]

Nothing.

[And to his surprise, that's the truth. There's a number of things he could point out that's wrong from a rational perspective, but for once he isn't concerned about it. His mind is looping, stuck on the fact that Lucifer has explicitly expressed forgiveness.

Sandalphon wipes his eyes as he breathes deeply and slowly, suppressing the urge to keep on crying. (Odd, that a primal would even possess the capacity to shed tears.) It's as if a dam broke and let loose his pent-up feelings, and he's just barely keeping them at bay.

Finally, he turns. His is a small, single step toward Lucifer with his shoulder pointed in the latter's direction and his gaze directed at the ground.]

Nothing's wrong.

I'm sorry. I've overwhelmed you.

[He still isn't actually sure if he's really okay or not, but apologizing is the least he can do, since making him cry had definitely not been the intention. Of course, Sandalphon is still here and doesn't seem to be mad at him (yet?), so at least there's that. Maybe it wasn't entirely a bad thing. It does feel like he's being honest with him.

He completely underestimated the toll that such honesty could take on others, he thinks. For as long as he'd watched others, he still had a long way to go when it came to learning how to deal with things like this. He hoped Sandalphon would continue to be patient with him.]

[Although brief, it feels like he cried for much longer. His eyes are slightly swollen; the skin around them is no doubt colored red. An unpleasant warmth persists all over his face, and it won't be long before the drowsiness starts to seep in. Crying really is an inconvenient mechanism.

Swallowing—at last, the lump has gone—Sandalphon bows his head at Lucifer's apology. The corners of his lips raise by a minuscule margin.]

Why are you apologizing? It's me who asked you to be honest.

[Good grief. Lucifer should stop before he starts down that road of nonsense. Right now, it's almost funny.]

[...oh. Well, that answers a lot of his questions (and doubts). He smiles softly as he stands up.]

I wondered if, perhaps, my honesty was too much. But if this is the honesty you wished for, then I'm glad.

[It was so simple to just... say what he felt. He regretted that he hadn't done it sooner, that he'd let so many things prevent him from doing so. Maybe it had been the "right" thing to do, technically, for the sake of his position, but how poor Sandalphon must have suffered for it...]

[It is too much, because Sandalphon isn't used to it. But Lucifer is right—this is what he wished for, so he has nothing about which to complain. It's difficult to decipher his exact feeling on this, but he knows that that feeling is neither anger nor bitterness. (Is it complaisance, perhaps?)

He's not going to overthink it. He can't: It's like the relief has draped a thick blanket over the expanse of his mind, numbing his ability to analyze the scene.

Sandalphon's attention drifts to the bench, and he strides over to retrieve the bag resting on it.]

Have you had your fill of the display? If so, we can head back now.

Let's go. [Really, he could probably stay here all night, but they'd been out long enough—he'd seen what he wanted to see, did what he wanted to do, and then some. Sandalphon could probably use a break, too, he thinks.] Some coffee would be nice, don't you think?

[That seemed like a good way to wind down for the evening. Plus, they had those new cups to use—]

[With the bag in tow, they've got nothing to leave behind. Sandalphon nods as he turns in the direction of the street market.]

I'll prepare the brew once we've returned.

[While the time isn't proper for coffee, sleep isn't necessary for primals. Even now, his mind's still recovering from the prior onslaught of mantras. A cup of that warm richness doesn't sound like a bad idea after that high-energy scene.]

Oh? [There's a small hint of amusement in his voice as he follows Sandalphon.] I was going to offer make it myself, but I won't say no to that.

[It's a silly thing, probably—it's not like it would be the first time Sandalphon made coffee since they arrived, but he just... didn't get tired of it. Maybe he never would, considering how long it's been since they were able to share a cup. It made him happy that he wanted to.]

[Sandalphon would never refuse coffee brewed by Lucifer's hands. Since he's already volunteered, though, there's no sense in taking the offer back—moreover . . . ]

Take it as a token of appreciation.

[If it'll bring a smile to Lucifer's face, then he'll do it. As they enter the bustling streets, the noise comes back in full force and drowns out Sandalphon's muttering:]

It won't happen again . . . I won't betray your faith.

["A token of appreciation," he says, as if Lucifer had gone out of his way or something. As if Lucifer hadn't already forgiven him years and years ago. As if there had ever been a question... But Lucifer will let him have it. It seemed to mean so much to him to hear him say it, so he'll let him show whatever appreciation he wants to. Ever since they'd arrived here, Sandalphon seemed so tense, but now, there was this lightness to him, like a heavy burden had been lifted.]

I would like that, then.

[Oblivious to Sandalphon's solemn promise, Lucifer's glad for him. Even if it's only one of many burdens, he's glad to he helped ease his heart, if only a little.]

can't a man have some coffee in peace

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