nexuses | can't a man have some coffee in peace

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can't a man have some coffee in peace

[The thread that connects him to the supreme primarch's power has unraveled, taking with it his wings. Rent of what makes him an archangel, he's no better than a human with a purpose thrust unto him by a weakened witch. All in all, the whole situation reeks of nonsense.

Indolence won't help his brooding any. Sandalphon tours the city instead, pointedly taking the less populated path. Even then, too many people approach him with their wares and saccharine smiles, and he rebuffs each one with a single-word response. It's not soon enough when he slips into a shop that smells faintly of coffee, hoping for some peace and quiet.

But even here, the employees jump at every person to come around. Sandalphon grits his teeth in reflex annoyance when a rehearsed greeting and a request for an order is thrown his way. He hadn't intended to buy anything. Still, he can't just turn around and leave.]

Fine. Give me coffee.

[That unleashes a whole new can of beans. Regular or decaf? Perhaps a mocha, a latte, or a cappucino? And what about ice?

Does any of this matter? No one makes coffee like Lucifer. It hasn't been more than two hours, and Sandalphon wants to quit Shehui.]

That doesn't matter to me. Make what you want.

[At the very least, the service is quick—too quick. Sandalphon eyes the cup in his grasp with mild suspicion. What's with the lid?]

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[What Lucifer would like to do now is leave and explore, but it's already been established that that should probably be avoided for now. (We'll see how long that lasts.) He thinks this over for a moment, considering their choices, but...]

Unfortunately, our options are limited. [In fact, even saying that was probably a bit generous, but he'll give him what he has.] If I am unable to leave, then perhaps I will make use of the way in which I first contacted you. I will learn what I can from "speaking" with others.

[That was the very least he could do, if he had to be stuck inside all day. It wasn't enough, but for now, it would do. But that left one more question.]

As for you... That's your choice, isn't it?

[It didn't feel like his place to be telling Sandalphon what to do, not anymore.]

[The one time that he asks for instruction, he's told to find the answer on his own. But he shouldn't be frustrated, and he isn't. He knows by now from where Lucifer is coming.]

I'm staying here. It wouldn't feel right to leave after I've said that you're welcome to stay.

[It's not much of a plan; however, one day at a time is better than standing around in a daze.

Here, his chin dips in contemplation. Sandalphon had broadcast his thoughts unwittingly earlier, which brings him to the realization that he doesn't actually know how the mechanism goes. Par for the course, Lucifer seems to have figured it out already, and he wonders if it's much different from the last time he'd heard Lucifer's voice.]

That method of speaking, though . . . I'm not accustomed to it. You might be able to communicate with others, but that might not be so reliable with me.

[He wouldn't have begrudged him if he'd wanted to leave—Sandalphon was not obligated to stay, regardless of what he'd said, and Lucifer understands the need (or even desire) to get things done. But he can't say he's unhappy with his choice, either.]

As you said, there are certain things that may take time to get used to. [He had no doubt that Sandalphon would be able to work it out, sooner or later, whenever he tried. But there was no reason for him to force it, either. Lucifer didn't mind if that was one of his few responsibilities here, so it was okay if he couldn't do it. And anyway...] But it's alright. As long as you can hear me, for now, that's enough.

[Just in case he needed him ~~to bring him coffee~~, or just wanted to reach him. It was nice that even if their own powers were now limited, they would still be able to contact each other easily. Such a convenience... He would have to be careful not to overdo it.]

[Please, he'll bring coffee without being asked.

Good enough for Lucifer, but Sandalphon wonders how long it'll take for him to catch up. Even back in the Sky Realm, handling the supreme primarch's power had been something of an ordeal that had ended in their lying dormant. It's a given that he'll always be behind Lucifer.

He also wonders what he might end up sharing without realizing.]

I'll learn it quickly. I have more time than I know what to do with on my hands, anyway.

[He smiles a little at what he says.]

That's certainly true. [...] Having this much freedom is strange.

[He isn't entirely sure if it's something Sandalphon can relate to, but that was how he felt, at the very least. It wasn't a bad thing, either, just... strange. They had to make their own decisions now, whether they liked it or not.

But maybe it will be good for Sandalphon, too. A short reprieve from the responsibilities that Lucifer had forced onto him on such short notice, responsibilities he'd hoped he'd never have to deal with at all.]

[Sandalphon lets out a mirthful huff. Freedom: trust Lucifer to give it a tasteful name. Back then, he'd called it, "merely existing." He supposes it's not a bad thing; in fact, Lucifer has more than earned the so-called privilege.]

You'll get used to it after a while.

[Although, he adds in his thoughts, maybe not completely. Archangels are simply not built to enjoy this level of freedom. But if anyone can adapt, it's Lucifer, who'd decided to discard the role of the overseer before his passing.

As for himself, going back and forth between having a purpose and being sidelined is a tad overwhelming. He'll just have to cope with it.]

[The "joke" doesn't completely go over his head, if only because the words are slightly different from the way he'd spoken before. It's almost like there's a sort of bitterness attached that wasn't there just a moment ago. It's just enough for even him to notice something off.

But...]

Indeed. [It's all he can really say without knowing the true scope of Sandalphon's words and thoughts. It's all he could do even if the words don't sit right with him.] I'm certain we will manage.

[Not just in relation to their sudden freedom, but also in general. The situation was strange, but they would find their way. ...or, at least, as best as they could, given there were very few guidelines for primals in situations like this.]

[At the very least, he has no doubt about that as he reclaims his seat. They're not going anywhere, so he might as well sit down again. Then, after a moment or two of staring at the cups remaining on the coffee table, he scoops one up and takes a sip.]

You're right. It does taste like mint.

[Except it's fairly cold now, so the flavor must have lost its potency from when Lucifer had tasted it. A pity.]

[...maybe he was overthinking it. But it's hard to forget the words, somehow, even as Sandalphon moves on to a different subject.

Although a part of him can't help but feel warm, too, that he is acknowledging what had been a complicated moment earlier in the conversation. Maybe things were complicated for him, and between them, but...]

Doesn't it? But it must be cold by now.

[His own drink, still unfinished, certainly was, at least. He doesn't say it, for fear of pushing Sandalphon too much, but next time, they'll definitely try it together, he thinks.]

[It's already a challenge to drink one cup before the coffee starts to get cold. They dropped the ball there, but the other two were inevitably going to lose their heat before proper consumption. So, all in all, Sandalphon doesn't mind the loss much.]

That's my fault. [The tone he uses is almost flippant, meant to wave away the fact that the coffee is indeed cold.] If we're right to assume that we'll be here for some time, we'll have plenty of chances to drink it hot.

But if memory serves right, they served cold coffee, too. What do you think about that?

[What freaks drink coffee cold on purpose—]

[Here he is, trying not to be too much, and then Sandalphon's gotta go and ask him about coffee... That's totally not fair.

After what Sandalphon had said earlier, it almost feels wrong to talk of something so mundane, but Lucifer won't remind him of such things. (Mundane was exactly what he'd always wanted, anyway.) So he answers, warmly, despite his slight misgivings.]

I wonder. If it's cold, the flavor must be quite different. [It wasn't like he hadn't thought of it before, but... why fix what wasn't broken, you know? There had simply been no need to try experimenting with it.] I would like to try it, but perhaps we should wait until it's warmer out.

[It had been chilly today in Shehui—Lucifer suspects it might be that time of the year for this part of this world.

But on the subject of coffee:]

Speaking of things I'd like to try... [A slight pause, like he's not sure if it's okay to ask.] If it's not too much, I hope you'll make me some of yours sometime as well.

[Sandalphon doesn't even have to think about his answer.]

If that's all, I can do that much.

[By that, he means that he'll make some tomorrow, though whether he serves it or not is another story. He'll have to experiment with the foreign equipment the people of Shehui use for such a task. That's a moderately exciting thought.]

I've had plenty of practice. Hopefully, it'll be better than my previous attempts.

[The layers to this, on the other hand, completely go over his head. But he's glad, at least, that Sandalphon doesn't seem unwilling, because he had not wanted to pressure or obligate him, either.]

I apologize for asking such self-indulgent things from you. [Maybe he should've led with that. Or maybe he shouldn't be asking such things at all.] But I'm sure it will be wonderful. I'd like to see how you've improved.

[It's so easy to fall back into old habits, even despite how long it's been. But it's not only that... There's this sort of feeling that, if he doesn't reach out, he'll slip away.

Is that because it's already too late? He wonders.]

[He continues to sample the drink while Lucifer talks, savoring the minty aftertaste. Impressive, how humans have managed to diversify the taste of coffee.

"I apologize for asking such self-indulgent things," Lucifer says. Were it anyone else, Sandalphon would have snorted. Asking for him to make coffee is no skin off his nose. More importantly, he likes it this way: Lucifer's allowed to want things for himself.

Longing, yearning . . . elation, pain . . . Sandalphon's brow pinches, and his lips curl into a tentative smile.]

It won't be in that shaded garden, but I'll make that cup of coffee we can share.

[He'll make it every day, if he has to.]

[Even though Sandalphon had already made it clear that he had been there, Lucifer's still taken aback, just a little, when he hears him acknowledge his words like that. But it's not a bad thing at all—he can't remember the last time he felt so much relief in his heart. And so much warmth.

He doesn't say as much because he's sure it isn't a pleasant memory, but nothing means more than knowing he had been there after all. Even if he hadn't known it then, and even if it probably didn't matter now. There had been the fear that Sandalphon might never know his words, let alone his feelings, but it seemed like, maybe, he had been fortunate enough to have both.

He still had regrets, and there were so many things he could never fix, but he's grateful for this small thing. This selfish thing.]

Thank you, Sandalphon. I look forward to it.

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can't a man have some coffee in peace

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